Of Cats , Curiosity, and Mortality.

Of Cats , Curiosity, and Mortality.


Curiosity killed that cat? I think they got it wrong. We’ve been laboring under the stifling, perhaps even deadly, weight of a botched adage. The ‘osity’ responsible for the feline fatality had to be of a ‘serious’ not a ‘curious’ nature. The suffix “osis” according to my New American Webster Handy College Dictionary means “an abnormal condition of.” The difference between “osis” and “osity” literally “is” “ity”. “ity” along with its partner in crime “bity” amount to nothing significant. So I will use “osis” and “osity” interchangeably.

‘Curiosity’, then, is an abnormal condition of being curious, and is liable to expose you to the risks of a few bruised extremities and egos, a few startled looks of surprise, but an ever-growing knowledge of the world around you. A mild state of curiosity might just spice up your life a trifle. A rampant case of curiosity may batter and bruise, but the main risks are of a life of adventure, and a chronic smile. The curious cat is the cat that knows, or will discover, whereof he purrs. His brain cells are always on the move, and his life is comparatively rich, and mouse laden.

“Seriousity” on the other paw, is the weighty and grave state of grimaced jaws, humorless eyes, and tail dragging through the litter box anxiety. It is the abnormal state of being serious. The mildly serious cat merely spends too much time looking behind to see what’s following him (often just his tail). Often quick to startle, this tremulous tabby is often referred to as a ‘fraidy cat’. Even mild ‘seriousity’, if chronic, may result in ruined digestion, a less than satisfying social life (fewer rubs under the whiskers), and troublesome hairballs.

A rampant case of ‘serious’, particularly the condition that is left when you take yourself too seriously, may involve a batter, just like curiosity. However, the next step isn’t likely to be curiosity’s mild bruising accompanied by learning, but a deep fat frying, often accompanied by a devouring. Too much ‘serious’ tends to reduce our mental agility. A real serious cat is much more likely to limp away from a 10 foot drop, than spryly walk away like his relaxedly curious cousin. Sufficiently serious, and the cat will bounce away from the fall, exhibiting the stock market phenomenon known as the ‘dead cat bounce’ (i.e. even a dead cat will bounce if it falls far enough).

So, how do we switch from serious to curious, and save the cat? My prescription begins like this-- start with a good stretch followed by a hearty laugh. Cats are great models for this mind freeing stretch. Watch a cat stretch. They seem to be able to employ every muscle. Stretching releases muscular tensions, increases circulation, and feels incredible. So stretch, and try to involve every muscle you’ve got. Then laugh. Nothing blows through a morbidly serious mental cloud faster than the warm breeze of a good hearty laugh. If you can’t jump right into a good laugh, start with a smile, graduate into a chuckle, and finally let yourself go and laugh with your whole body. Force yourself into the smile to laugh progression, even though you may not feel like it. Pretend that you do. Follow the phony laugh with a good stretch, and laugh again. I promise by the third time you follow this recipe of stretching and laughing you’ll be feeling like you’ve dipped into the catnip, and you’ll be ready to chase a canary.

Now that you’re feeling good, it’s time to get curious. Start seriously asking yourself non-serious questions—like “…exactly how good can I feel?” and “…what opportunities are out there for me today?” Train your brain to be curious, not serious.

If you just can’t let the cat out of the serious bag on your own, you might want to explore the possibility of using hypnosis to help you with the ‘de-bagging’. A hypnotist has tools to help release long standing stress and reduce the production of ‘seriousity’. A hypnotist can also help re-tune your mind to curiosity, and help prevent another morbid cat catastrophe.

Mars Meadows
Sexual Response Educator