Letter to my treasured friend Mattew

July 3rd, 2008

Dearest Matthew,
I am just doing fine, treading water and trying to keep my smile. Rick is trying his best to assure me he is working on our marriage… I feel it but ya know when it just does not seem real sincere…hmmmmm! So I have prepared myself mentally and emotionally to walk away if he as so much as asks me, do you really think this is going to work? UGH! So help me god just one more time and I will say think you are right, I do not think it will work. He may be stunned he may be relieved but I am under NO circumstances am I fighting for him this time… I am too damn tired. I have begun packing my stuff and only mine, he watches daily as the mountain of my life’s treasure begin to climb high along my kitchen walls, like a cave. I am NOT packing one thing for him! No sir ye! That way when we go we go together or apart, and frankly I do not care which one it is I am becoming a minimalist, all this crap around me is just stuff, poof it will be gone with one mega garage sale. I just have to keep him out of the boxes, I pack it he unpacks it…. I am parting with mountain sized responsibilities, bobbles, trinkets, china, photographs, knickknacks, books, shit. It is all just an immense responsibly. I am overwhelmed.

I am sorry if you do not want your photos but as long as I write I am freeing myself their care, you are the rightful owner and you should treasure them.

I can hardly believe that you had a heart attack. You are a fit, healthy, older than dirt man! What on earth would have brought this on? Are further tests and studies being done? I am stunned; speechless actually, that is hard to leave me without speech! Somewhere with age, I have lost the filter between my brain and my mouth…. I am so sincerely sorry for your ill fate. I will keep you in my closest prayers.

Peace,
Mars