Letter To Gabe

2-17-08

Dearest Gabriel,

I sit here and wonder what you are doing? I know you do not have many options but still I daydream about you all the time. There is rarely a moment where my heart does not ache from missing you. I love you so much…. I am coming to see you tomorrow but still I sit and wonder how this ever happened. I feel so helpless as a Mother, I have always been able to help my children and now my hands are tied. I wish you peace every moment you are away. I wish you safety and health. I yearn to hold you so badly and kiss you, smell you, feel your hair and skin. You are my baby and this is not a feeling I know how to deal with. I do remind myself that we are strong, that we will get through this but there are days that seem like they last forever and it seems like an eternity since I last held you. I miss your smile, your kindness and laughter. I love you baby.
I have been surfing the net and almost all the prisons in Oregon are connected to the community college programs. Depending on where you go it will depend on which college you can receive extra training. It is still pretty vague on what courses they offer. You have always held education high. Remember education is the key to your freedom. The more you get the better you will be in the future. The more time you have your nose buried in a book the less time you will have to get mixed up with the wrong crowds. I fear that the most, you are like a chameleon, you can be friends with anyone and unfortunately this is an arena like no other. You CANNOT trust anyone… I know you are close to Sam and I pray you two will serve together, however that connection is rare. Those walls hold the worst of the worst. PLEASE, I beg you to keep to yourself as much as possible, if you meet one fiend you are lucky if you meet two you will be blessed. BUT please do not fall into this mentality. Find someone smart, someone educated to run with. I know as hard as it is to believe the racial tension in there will take its toll on you. It will be hard to witness and be subjected to such ignorance, but remember you did not come up that way. You are better than that, never challenge it, do not try to understand it, and just do not participate in it…. Walk away. Generations of ignorance have breed within those walls, be a better man than that Gabe. Stick to your own (f—k what does that even mean)? I guess it means be smart, and get smarter it is up to you what you make of this time, come home an educated man not a punk. I have always held my kids to being better and still expect it today. You are better, you are brighter, you are mine, and as hard as it may seem I am still very proud of you. I will do everything in my power to assist you in becoming a better man than you already are. I love you dearly and I am going to close for now so this can hit the mail…. I know no mail tomorrow but I will be there to visit.
Love You,
Mama

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
William Durant

The first and finest lesson that parents can teach their children is faith and courage.
Smiley Blanton