Rambling....

I really have no idea where this is going, I just know I have this urge to write... Write about my feelings and how I feel they are all over the board... This is not the first time I have felt this form of confusion, passion or even love for another. I will say it has been some time though... I never saw it coming! He blindsided me with all his charm. I found myself behaving like a teenager and it felt wonderful. I beamed every time the phone rang, I could not wait to wake to see if he had left me another wonder greeting to start my day. I miss him! I am thrilled to know I can still feel... I am no longer numb, I am capable of loving and being loved... I am also capable of the suffering... that is the part the scars us. Each scar we form a bit of callous around us to buffer us from the next blow. Well I choose not to suffer but to rejoice in all the joy he brought me. To be thankful for the lessons I have learned along the way... I can never be accused of not loving, nor would I want to be. My heart has many cracks some deeper than others and at times it feels like my life force is escaping me. I am eager to find a partner, one who is in it for better or worse... One who equal, one who is strong, one with integrity, one who walks with me, one who can hold on, one who dreams, one who believes in magic, one who believes in love, one on one... I guess I am still hopefully to find that one!I believe in love. I believe in me.